Off to College - My Advice for the Parents | Wendys Words

I have come across some Facebook friends that are dealing with the mixed emotions of seeing their child move into their college dorms for the very first time. It brings back memories of my son Matthew’s journey through college at University of Wisconsin-Stout. When I thumb through a diary I kept at the time, I find an anxious woman trying to find the positive in the college experience despite knowing my child was going to be at a campus 190 miles away for weeks at a time. I understand the array of emotions my friends feel.

When we got home that first night without Matthew, I curled up in my bed and bawled. My imagination went into overdrive thinking that the period coming up would be the longest Matthew and I have ever been apart. I also thought about the bonehead things that college kids get into trouble for. Did I do enough to help him get through his first independent experience in one piece? Thankfully, that anxiety started to lessen quickly. The very next night I get a text from Matthew saying, “The guys on my floor are pretty awesome!”

My youngest son was only six when Matthew went to college. At the time I wanted to make sure that Adam had memories to share with his biggest brother, so I decided to do a tradition where I would get a picture of Adam and Matthew at his dorm room on each moving day. I think Adam was fascinated by the idea of his brother being away at college. This led to an amusing memory on one trip there- Adam cried when we brought Matt back after semester break. The tears were not because Matthew was back at school, but because we told Adam that he was too little to have a dorm room of his own.

As time went on and I learned more about Matthew’s life on the campus, I noticed that he found people that had the same interests as he did. He was also able to explore activities that aren’t easily available in a town the size of Gillett. And instead of Saturday nights finding the closest alcoholic party, Matt and his circle of friends did Dungeons & Dragons and pizza. I slowly saw a change in Matthew too-from a teenager that needed a boot to the butt to a young man that seemed to understand life a little bit more.

To all the college parents out there, I want to say the experience for you as a parent will get easier, and it will be exciting to see this whole new aspect of life for your child. It is also going to go fast-it may even feel faster than high school did. When Matthew graduated from UW-Stout in December 2018, it seemed inconceivable that his college journey was done. It felt like he just started, yet there we were in Stout’s main auditorium for the ceremony-parked at the same lot we had to wait in for freshman registration just a few years earlier. It will help you cope to find activities for yourself. I had the three other boys at home as well as my own activities to keep me occupied-my online schooling until the end of 2015, and my store the remainder of that time.

In conclusion, I also want to say to parents that have either moved your kids to dorms or are preparing to-TAKE A DEEP BREATH. Sending your child to college is not an ending to your bond with him or her-it’s a new chapter in it. Embrace it and most of all-be proud!!